Sunday, April 1, 2018

One more time

what is there is a "one more time" chance for me crossing your mind?
what if there is an opportunity to me, to talk to you like the first time?
what if there would be me and you as a couple of stranger meeting and say hello?
what if everything can be turned like in the first place?
what would you say?
what would I say?

there is always a time for me to think, if I could hold your hand for one more time, I would never release it. Never. Since holding your hand is like giving my breath back in my miserable nightmare.
yup..  it seems like..
there is something that always brings me back to you...

If I had a chance to be in that moment again, I would say "hello" and tell "see you when I see you"

Which means, I would never expect another meeting to see you.

huft.

Saturday, January 6, 2018

dream.

What if you meet someone who ain't existed anymore in your life? I mean, I  ain't talking about death, it is about somebody who already left you and then you met again?

Me? I didn’t. But I met him (after he left) twice in my dream. It was like.... so real. How come I can see his smile so real. He cant stop smiling while talking. I didn't hear anything from him, I just enjoyed mute-talking with him. How was the end? Again. It was like no saying goodbye. The dream stopped, and I woke up.
Was it something like a sign? Or was it just a dream? I thought, it was just a dream. Well, I don’t expect to meet him anymore. Please. 


(This text was originally written on July, 30th 2017. LOL. Then I saved to draft. OMG. LOLOLOLOL. THAT WAS WHY I HAD A DREAM OF MEETING HIM TWICE..... YEAH... I MET HIM FOR THE LAST TIME IN THE LAST YEAR.... TWICE. LOL. OMG, I decided to post this.) 

meeting(s).. for the very last time.

On the last Dec 30th 2017 was my unexpected time ever.. that was surprising me for sure.

The place was the the first place we met in 2012. I dunno why, I was recalling the very first moment after the Sunday service finished. I walked out, he walked out. He stood in front of the door while I was standing right in front of him around 2 meters, we were not introducing each other since there were so many people around us. But that moment led me to recognize his face until I met him for the next step.

Well, On the Dec 30, I was walking in to attend the Christmas celebration which actually HE WAS THERE! SHIT! WHAT THE.....

There was an unexpected moment, dude!

I freeze for a second, then we shake hand for... it was like for the first time as two strangers (again) met for (also) the very first time.

Since January 2016, I had expected to have the last meeting with him, but I never had even one single chance. I had prayed to God, I really wanted to meet him for the very last time, tough I had no feeling to him anymore.

On the last day of 2017, Dec 31st 2017, was the very last time I met him in the church. I said to God "That was more than enough, God. thank you." Two meetings for the very last chance was really unexpected and........weird.